Recently I've been Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden and the Chechen president, writes Mick Hodgkin. I've also been an assortment of rebel gunmen, refugees, earthquake victims and lawyers - though I don't usually get to be the judge, because Luke's got the best High Court judge voice.
Of course, only friends and family notice - "I heard you being a terrorist suspect today", they will say. But it's a daily occurrence in the Channel 4 News/More4 newsroom. About 15 minutes before the programme goes out, a producer will come flying out of the edit suite with a desparate look, yelling: "I need a man - now!"
"Well, I suppose..." you reply.
"OK great, you're a warlord who's accused of mass murder". And a lip mic is shoved into your hand. "Alright", you say, "But what's my motivation?"
Because we're all luvvies deep down.There used to be a rumour here at ITN that our well-resourced counterparts at the BBC use professional actors for all such voice-overs - but our editor Will, a refugee from White City, tells me that's balls, they do it the same way we do.
When we run sound bites in foreign languages, the norm is to dip the sound after the first few words and voice over a translation. On longer pieces, or where the original voice is important to hear, we may use subtitles in the style of documentaries.
There's an argument for doing so more, especially with languages which a reasonable proportion of viewers might be expected to understand. Then again, people may not be watching a news programme with the same degree of sofa-bound attention as a doco - if you're doing the washing-up or ironing while you watch, you're not going to follow the subtitles. Plus you have to make sure the titles are big enough for short-sighted viewers, and don't go off the edge if you haven't got widescreen.
Where there's a graphic with quotes, someone has to read those out too - especially noticeable in court cases, where the remarks of witnesses, barristers and judges can't be recorded, so have to noted down and voiced over text. I keep meaning to hold on to recordings of gems such as members of management confessing to their heinous crimes or sexual perversions in a voice-over.
But now I realise I've been stitched up myself. In last week's piece on lonely hearts ads, I agreed to voice one of the men, while the producer did the other. His was "Mulligatawny-loving man". And mine? "Bald, short, fat and ugly male, 53 seeks short-sighted woman with tremendous sexual appetite."
Admit it - it was your lonely heart wasn't it.
Posted by: Iain | Monday, 06 November 2006 at 05:55 PM