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Frantic night over at Channel 4 News. The military coup in Thailand only just under way, satellite time booked, our Asia Correspondent Kylie Morris in place.
Towards the end of the show Jon 'can't get you out of my head' Snow goes across to Asia one final time. "We're hoping to talk to Kylie Minogue now live from Bangkok. Kylie, what have you learnt since we've been on air?"
Our very own Kylie M valiantly suppresses a smile and answers the question in hand.
Perhaps it was just the silly season. Perhaps it was something deeper (i.e. can your name dictate your life?) but the other day we had a joyous run of names that were slightly too close to the story. the question is - when do you turn down an interviewee for having a name that is too distracting?
Well, we didn't turn down Professor Lean when he spoke about obesity. Nor did we refuse Mr Crook air time when he was talking about his fight to not be extradited to the US (though we were relieved he didn't get his lawyer on air - being a Mr Law.) But we thought the Thai girl called Supaporn might cause a few moments of mirth.
Silly names are also a good source of merriment in the news room. It would be great to engineer a way to get this police officer on.
The White House has confirmed that President Bush talked on the phone to Prime Minister Blair on Wednesday - the day before 21 people were arrested in dawn raids that foiled a plot to bomb transatlantic flights.
But what was said? Using the kind of inventive journalism characteristic of the News of the Screws, the More4News blog has obtained a transcript of that conversation:
Blair: Sir Cliff's Residence, hello?
Bush: Yo, Blair.
Blair: Oh, hello George, thanks for calling back. We've found out about a major terror plot to bomb planes.
Bush: Woooh, Blair!
Blair: And I thought we might arrest the suspects tomorrow, if that's OK.
Bush: Go, Blair!
Blair: Er, it was a plot directly aimed at America by radicalised young Muslims, you know...
Bush: So, Blair?
Blair: So I was thinking you might want me to go and sort out the Middle East peace process...
This sort of thing doesn't come along that often. A sponsored Masturbate-a-thon is being held (tightly one imagines), tomorrow in London. It is intended to help people explore safer sex, talk about masturbation and "dispel the taboos that still surround the subject by coming to a public place and coming in a public place." It's all part of Channel 4's wank week, it seems.
So we are having a chat about it tonight on the show. A mass-debate, if you will.
You can imagine the banter. A few choice phrases overheard in the newsroom:
One of our intrepid journalists staggered into the office the other day, the Middle-Eastern sun still in her hair, so soon had she left Syria. She had been to interview Hamas, asking them about their position in the current crisis. Our reporter received a departing gift.
It came wrapped, in a box.
Struggling to be polite, she thanked them and then set off to the airport. She went to check-out. Then, when asked if she had been given anything to take on the plane, rather than saying: "Oh, I have a wrapped parcel that has just been given to me by people recognised by many governments as a terrorist organisation", she mumbled: "No", and headed into the plane.
As she took the parcel out to open it in the Newsroom, people made excuses and went for coffee. Luckily there was no loud bang. Instead she had been given a 3D picture of the Masjid Al Aqsa. It now sits behind her desk.
Morning meeting. Ten journalists struggle through the day's agenda. We cover Hezbollah. We touch on drugs classification. We even talk about Mel Gibson and his faux pas. Then we mention the eggs story.
Apparently, some bright (no-doubt egg-head) boffin has come up with an egg that tells you when it is cooked (by the use of some heat sensitive dye). The story is dismissed.
"Not a four minute piece", someone offers.
"A bit too soft", says another.
Delia Smith is not available for comment, but rumour has it she is eggsasperated...